This is so true. My adult life has been a constant struggle to reclaim that lost paternal love. In this quest, I create fantasy worlds, worlds based on the love I imagined that I should have received from my family. Alas, these worlds were mere fantasy in which I acted the role of parents; this exposed me to unbalanced exploitative relationships, in which I was giving all the love. At the same time, I felt that I was undeserving of receiving love.