Member-only story
I have listened to you for far too long.
You are on a continuous loop.
You, my inner critic,
I wished that your criticisms did not stick.
But, they perpetually prod me like swords.
Your words penetrated my cranium and became implanted in my brain.
They tell me that I would not amount too much, so who is to blame?
You said it was in my DNA, embedded into my genes;
From an early age, this was something I had gleaned.
You placed me on your stage with the spotlight shining on me.
Alas, this was not to elevate me but to degenerate me.
The image you have embedded in my brain has suffused my soul.
I remembered the little boy — starring into the abyss — because you ignored him.
I knocked on your door, but you would not let me in.
You place barricades so that I could not succeed.
All of this was part of your charade.
I have to, no matter what, conform to your expectation of me.
And, so you gave birth to my inner critic — the endless buzzing bee.
My self-mocking jester.
The one that is always conforming to its fears.
I asked myself why I should care?
For, no matter what I do, the results are always the same.
